Leandra Medine (of ManRepeller) recently wrote a piece (for ManRepeller) called "I Think I'm Afraid to Grow Up".

I'm only 20 years old yet I related to this collection of words like I too was a married woman in my late 20s trying for a baby. I have no intention of being a grown-ass adult any time soon, but I also yearn for the cool bits of adult life like my own place, a fulfilling career, and real, adult, fun social stuff. I want to travel to Europe and Africa, I want to go to Happy Hour after work, and I want to pay for things like fancy cleansers and vintage t-shirts without feeling guilty for being frivolous.

But I'm also terrified of getting there.

I'm scared of becoming a normal grown up. Of getting married and having children and paying taxes and drinking 3 cups of coffee just to get through the work day. (Why do people revel in their dependence on coffee?) I don't want a 9 to 5 job that makes me ache every day for the weekend. I haven't wished it was Friday or screamed TGIF! since my first year of college and I don't want to go back to that. I like enjoying my Mondays and Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Thursdays. And maybe I don't like the idea of drinks after work after all.

So what to do when college is drawing to a close and I haven't found something realistic to do with myself once that paper is in my hand and I'm expected to get on with it? Who knows. I suppose that's what I miss most about being a teenager - not being expected to know.

Leandra's piece made me feel a bit like one day I'm going to look back on this time in my life and really miss it. And I probably will, I'm enjoying it. I enjoy learning and reading and even feeling bad for buying that expensive tub of vegan ice-cream. But I suppose every period in one's life becomes charged with nostalgia once that period passes and then we move on to the next and the next and our lives move forward in bits of eventually-nostalgic occurrences. And if Leandra Medine, sartorial maverick and girl boss of ManRepeller feels like she's coasted on the crutches of real adults and was able to create a career out of doing what she loves then maybe I can too (cheesy yes, but the sentiment is genuine). With the help of real adults.

And maybe it won't be so strange to grow up, and as long as I avoid that boring 9 to 5 and never go anywhere near anything that says "But First, Coffee" on it - I'll do just great.

- a.